A Heart For Success: Learning From My Child With Developmental Delays

With a child's heart
Go face the worries of the day
With a child's heart
Turn each problem into play
No need to worry no need to fear
Just being alive makes it all so very clear... With A Child's Heart, Stevie Wonder

Sometimes, it takes a child to demonstrate what real strength, courage, determination, and success look like. Please enjoy this perspective from Ashley Martin about her son Rex, who was born with multiple heart defects and other developmental delays:

“How old were you when you took your first steps?,” he asked me.

Pausing, I said, “I don't know.”

“Exactly,” he said, “The fact is that you learned to walk. No one cares how old you were.”

As the mother of a child with developmental delays, this conversation with my pastor has popped in my head through every bump in the road and with every achieved milestone. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and it has been stealing the joy of parents for years. We fight it, but eventually, it finds each one of us. It can show up in the child at library story hour who is half your child's age, double his size, and running circles around him. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Crossing The Finish Line In The Kerrington's Heart 5K Fundraiser
2014

My first child hit every milestone on time and sometimes early. People were always commenting on how advanced her speech was for her age and how smart she was... and is. My son hit none of his milestones and took months to master things my daughter just did naturally. With many hours, weeks, and months of hard work, children who have delays will eventually achieve the same goals their peers likely achieved much sooner, but the celebration is much sweeter. If you are the parent of a child who some might describe as “behind,” hang in there. Keep working with her and know she isn't “behind” anyone because she isn't competing with anyone, but herself. Children arrive in their own time and they can't be rushed.

 

 Children's Books about Inclusion

Benchmarks definitely have their place, but when they become the measuring stick for a child's (or parent's) “success,” they lose their value. Success is defined as: the correct or desired result of an attempt. Do you notice something missing from that definition? “...by a certain time or age.” WE put these specific parameters on our children and redefine “success.” I can list the many successes, the added pressure from well-meaning grandparents, other parents, and especially from ourselves is unnecessary and, in many ways, can be unhealthy. 

I should probably clarify that. As a parent, you should be aware of a typical development timeline so you know when your child may need therapies to help them get on track. Just as it isn't good to be overly comparative, it is equally bad to be in denial of possible challenges. 

I am so grateful for the doctors and therapists who gently clued me in to my son's need for therapy. I confess that I was so overwhelmed with all he already had going on that I was oblivious. He had his first heart surgery at 13 days old and just seemed to have uphill battles from the beginning. At four months old, he was diagnosed with hip dysplasia and began aggressive treatment that involved a harness and later a brace that was to be worn for an unknown period of time (ended up being 15 months). So, when he wasn't rolling over by 6 months old, I blamed the brace. I told myself, “Of course he can't roll over; his hips are restricted 12—24 hours a day!” It turned out that he also has low muscle tone which meant rolling was going to be a challenge, with or without a hip brace. So, he began weekly physical therapy sessions. His physical therapist noticed that he only used his right hand...so, he began occupational therapy. Some months later, that same physical therapist (who became like family) mentioned my son's speech and how he might benefit from therapy in that area. 

Rex Sleeping In His Hip Brace

For 2+ years, he received a combined total of 10 hours of therapies a month. My life revolved around his therapy schedule and there were times when I just didn't think I could do it any more. Now, as I see my son run, climb, turn door knobs, and speak in full sentences, it was all worth it. He attends preschool 4 half-days a week where he receives weekly therapies in all areas and he still gets speech at home. He loves school and everyone there loves him! He can tell you all of his teachers' names, and is quick to tell you who is best friend is, too. He even went "peepee" in the potty for the first time EVER at school. Oh, and the way his big sister has grown into a “mini therapist” has been amazing to watch. She used to put his favorite toy on top of our ottoman to “make him work for it.” Next to me, she is his biggest advocate and cheerleader and he, of course, thinks she hung the moon.

Working on Rolling Over

I wish I could tell the mom of that non-walking 2-year old to enjoy him no matter what stage of development he is in. Don't dwell on the delays or setbacks, but focus on the successes. Now, that we are potty training, I told a friend, “He peed in the potty 7 times Saturday!” I am choosing not to keep track of all of the accidents because focusing on the negative never helped anyone and certainly never ended in SUCCESS.

Running Across The Same 5k Finish Line, One Year Later

2015

Team Rex

Ashley Martin has been a full-time stay-at-home mom and part-time blogger since 2007. She is active in her community and in her church where she hosts Bible study in her home and helps lead worship. She proudly calls herself a Heart Mom and is an advocate for families who have a child born with a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD). Ashley resides in Nicholasville, Kentucky, with her husband and two children.

Do you have a pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, or motherhood story that you would like to share with other Blossom Moms? Please contact us! 

Congenital Heart Defect Week: The Heart of a Warrior!

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week, held February 7–14, is an annual observance to promote awareness and education about congenital heart defects (CHDs). They affect nearly 1 in 100 births every year in the United States and are the most common (and least funded) type of birth defect. 

Some heart defects can be diagnosed prenatally using ultrasound, some might be identified during newborn screening using pulse oximetry, and others might be discovered by clinical exam or when the person becomes symptomatic. An estimated 2 million children and adults in the United States are living with a CHD today. 

 

Be inspired by the amazing Heart Mom Ashley Hunt Martin, her determined Warrior Rex, and their family's CHD Week 2016. 

February 7th, How I found out: In early April, 2012, at 36+ weeks, I had stopped gaining weight and my belly had stopped growing. An ultrasound revealed my amniotic fluid was low, but, no matter how much I flipped & flopped on the table, they could not get a good, full picture of Rex's heart. After a week of bedrest (to hopefully increase my amniotic fluid), I went in for another ultrasound that showed there was a problem with Rex's heart. We were sent across town to a pediatric cardiologist who was able to tell us more about his heart, but admitted that we wouldn't have a complete picture until Rex was born. I was admitted that night and Rex was induced and delivered 2.5 weeks early the next morning, April 11th.

Ashley, Lyla, and Rex on the way!

 

February 8th, First Photo: I had a normal delivery. The NICU nurses were present just in case, but Rex was not rushed away. At this point, we still only knew what the pediatric cardiologist had told us the day before--the defect she had seen was minor and should correct itself at birth. A couple of hours later, Rex would have his first echo showing just how many defects his little heart had. Not counting the one that DID correct itself at birth, he had 3. He was sent to the NICU for monitoring, but Dr. Cottrill didn't think immediate surgery would be necessary. It wasn't until the blood pressure in Rex's legs plummeted on his 8th day that he was transferred to UK and his first surgery was scheduled.

Ashley and Rex

Kerrington's Heart Inc. is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to the education, support, and encouragement of children with heart disease, their families and caregivers.

 

February 9, Emotions/Fears: Rex's surgery was April 24, 2012, but our scariest, most emotional day came two days later. There is risk of brain damage, kidney function loss, paralysis, etc the longer the aorta is clamped. Those risks increase and the "safe window" of how long the aorta should remain clamped decreases with each clamping. Rex's aorta had to be clamped THREE times during his surgery. I blogged about that day here:
 

February 10th, Hospital Stay: Rex spent his first week of life at St. Joseph East before being transferred to UK's NICU. He was moved to the P(Pediatric)ICU after a couple of days, though, because he needed a central line and was being prepped for surgery. We had a private room and some amazing nurses! In fact, I have nothing bad to say about ANY of our nurses. They were such blessings! The bottom left picture represents a huge triumph--it was the first time I was able to nurse Rex. My sister-in-law and our favorite nurse, Korinne, fought for me when I was too emotional and stressed to fight for myself. His surgery was successful and he was healing nicely, but Rex struggled to gain weight (something he would battle the first year of his life) which kept us in the hospital much longer than we expected. Lyla practically lived with Seth's sister and family during that time with other family members and friends helping to get her to and from ballet and even chaperoning a field trip. It truly does take a village! Seth and I lived with our friends, Shane and Suzanne so we could be closer to the hospital and I had breast milk in freezers all over town. Finally, as we were on our way to church one Sunday, our nurse called to tell us that Rex was going home that day! We were shocked because we had been told that patients are rarely released on a Sunday. Those were the longest 3.5 weeks of our lives, but now, they are just a tiny blip on the radar.

 Please Donate to

Team Rex

February 11th, New Normal: When Rex sees the cardiologist every 6 months, he could have any combination of tests done. They always check his blood pressure which (these days) definitely doesn't go as smoothly as it did in the picture on the left. *A little sidenote: The artery leading to Rex's arm was severed and used to widen his aorta so he will never have a blood pressure reading in his left arm.* He sometimes has an echo (ultrasound of his heart, pictured on the right) and other times he has a chest x-ray. They "attempt" an EKG every time, but it's a toss-up as to whether or not he will cooperate and an EKG of a screaming child doesn't really give a very accurate picture. I am thankful that our day-to-day lives really aren't all that different from non-CHD families. Rex is only on one heart medication which feels like nothing compared to what others are going through.

Watch this video of  Rex's Miracle

February 12th, Honor Your Warrior: Rex has no idea what an inspiration he is or the impact his little life has already had on so many. This is one of my favorite pictures of him. (Taken about a year ago by my friend, Michelle Graham Shiflet.) It captures him perfectly. He has his "terrible threes" moments, but, in general, this is the face you see when you see Rex. He loves Daniel Tiger, all things music, DRUMS, to laugh, to scare people, and to help. He is wearing his Beads of Courage around this neck. Each bead represents a clinic appointment, test, or procedure he has endured. As you can see, this one is full--he has started his second one already. I am so proud this CHD Warrior calls me "Mom." He is truly a living testimony.

Wearing RED for REX! *Lyla will tell you she is wearing it for Valentine's Day. ;-)

February 13th, The Scar: This was the first bath I was able to give Rex. Rex's scar isn't where you would expect a CHD kiddo to have one. The defect that was repaired was on his aorta which is on the outside of his heart so they were able to do a thoracic surgery. They went in under his arm, between his ribs, and moved his lung to get to the aorta. Imagine that on a little 5 lb. baby with a heart the size of a strawberry. God is good.

February 14th, CHD Fact: This year approximately 4,000 babies will not live to see their first birthday because of Congenital Heart Defects.

Rex's new book, "Jeremiah, the CHD Aware Bear, and Friends" arrived! "He [Jeremiah] was a Warrior, a mighty fighter indeed." Purchase your copy Today! 

To connect with the Congenital Heart Defect Community, join the conversation on Facebook. 

 

Do you have an amazing pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, or motherhood story?

Share it with other Blossom Moms!

Strength Begins With Number 1: Life Lessons From A Solo Mom

“I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.” -Art Williams

Parenting is not easy. It requires a kind of strength, discipline, faith, and dedication that isn't easily understood until the little life is out of the womb and in the parents' arms. The job of parenting is so colossal that it's meant to be carried out by a pair. For a variety of reasons and through a variety of circumstances, that doesn't always happen. Many children are being loved and raised by solo moms and dads. Takisha "Chef TJ" Wise is one such mom. 

I'll never understand why someone could help make this beautiful, beautiful child but not want to work hard to be in her life or do anything for her. I stopped feeling sorry for people a long time ago because everyone makes their own decisions. I can only be thankful he helped me make this wonderful spirit but that's all. I get to experience & live this journey alone with my daughter and give her best life I possibly can. 

   

I've always respected myself enough to know when to move on with my life. Always been the one working hard & taking care of others. Always sharing my blessings with others. Now my main mission is to bless my daughter. I'm not the mother that's going to ask the other party to participate in being a parent for their child because it should just be a gift & privilege, not just a responsibility, to care for this beautiful child; for any child actually. 

10 Single Mom Secrets

I enjoy being a single parent, a single woman, and a single mother. Not that I enjoy the stereotype, because I hate it, but life happens for a reason. Someone asked me (sarcastically) "where's her Daddy at?" And the only true statement is "He's exactly 

where he wants to be." Not here. If a parent wants to be a part of their child's life, they would, with no excuses. I thank him for saying stupidly out of his mouth, that we are the "DEADBEAT MOTHERS FOR KEEPING HIS CHILDREN OUT OF HIS LIFE" , but HE chose to leave... Though if we didn't have the means to take care of our kids as mothers, they would be in the state childcare system cause he can't even take care of himself. So why not be thankful & appreciative that us WOMEN got our shit together despite your lack thereof? It just truthfully lets me know the mentality & maturity level it takes to be an adult & loyal parent.

I could and should still be home bonding with my child, and although I have my wonderful times with her, I have already been back to work after my pregnancy when she was 2 months. I worked a full-time hard labor factory job through my entire pregnancy, paying every bill in the house, providing him shelter, groceries, cooked & even putting gas in his car when needed. I did baking & vending events HUSTLING, for my "family unit", all while 8-9 months pregnant. I paid for majority of the baby shower, everything for her nursery, every hospital bill under my insurance coverage & taxes. And he still doesn't want a real job cause he doesn't want to "work for the man".  I couldn't even get a cooked meal after a long day of work or a back rub throughout my pregnancy. All the things that didn't work in our personal "love" relationship he blames on everyone but himself. Blame game all the time. Hello Kayne!! 

Yea I let him walk out the 1st time but I admitted MY wrongs & let him come back, then he moves out again when our daughter was 5 days old., NO I wasn't chasing him the 2nd time & even told him, "if you step, you're not coming back in MY house acting like its a hotel". I'm smarter than that & for many reasons, I know what I deserve and what Pandora deserves; and he wasn't willing to give any part of it.  It's sad and disgusting to see how unmotivated someone can be when there are two beautiful little girls' lives involved. A male chooses to not give an physical address when I'm just trying to get support for the child that you helped create. It's all cool in my book that he's never been consistent and always irresponsible.... he chose to move back to another state 10 hours away and doing nothing for his children.

I have always been the provider & there's been so many that didn't reciprocate back the same effort or energy. I have never a hard time accepting my role in life. Now there's only 2 that I have to give to, myself & my child. Around the clock, I dedicate every minute to me & to US, so I can be healthy for us. So I can see that beautiful happy little being wake up smiling every morning. We're always gonna be good with or without him. Sucks but, I'm not stopping our life progress for him. Not throwing shade and not looking for sympathy or "I hate that this happened to you this way.". I'M JUST STATING FACTS. Because if you knew me personally, you'd already know that no male is gonna stop me from doing what I want & need to do in life.

I have a constant praise story for my life, trials & struggles never made me fail or give up & honestly, single mother, single woman, single parent life is GREAT. This is the freedom I love because there was more stress trying to hold a damaged situationship together no matter how hard one tries. I wouldn't trade this for the world & I don't regret any decisions made & I don't wish I could change the past or fix anything. I'm just consistent in doing what I must. Giving love to my child & being the example she needs. As a woman, a queen, and a mother. She gives me all the extra strength I'll ever need to live this life & my heart is not skipping any unnecessary beats in our world. I'm just glad now that I didn't have a baby boy as much as I wanted a son, because I've already had enough headache trying to get her daddy to grow up. He honestly thinks his "morals" are going to provide for his children (long silent pause...). Dude! that's not going to put food on the table!!!

if I bind my spirit in being stressed over things I can't control, then that's less positive energy I could be sharing with my daughter

Hmph, I digress! I personally enjoy ever moment that motherhood has to offer my heart & my mind. Physically, it is freedom. My freedom- because I can't & won't speak for others- but when most people tried to throw warnings in the wind that being a parent is soooooo hard, I'm glad I tossed any of that anxiety out the window. No pity, not petty, just be proud that I haven't missed a beat in life & am doing what I do & haven't stopped. I am a mother, an entrepreneur, a working woman. I am always truthful, hardworking, and dedicated to everything I do. Easy. I have the best time of my days when I'm with my daughter & not only is she the most chill & relaxed baby, but she makes life easier. Yes sometimes it's tough on days when I have to find a sitter at the last minute. Having dependable people is scarce at times but, I don't stress about it. Life is what it is and if I bind my spirit in being stressed over things I can't control, then that's less positive energy I could be sharing with my daughter. Keep it moving. Can't be a Queen to a Fool. I was trying to see the King in someone who didn't see it in themselves; that was my mistake. No regrets though because it was a journey paid for, experienced, and lived. Lessons always have to be learned. I would rather be the courageous mother, doing all I can to provide for my child on my own. Single parenthood is a blessing & being a mother is about the most powerful gift & privilege I've ever been given. Our next chapter is near: Happily living.

Takisha Wise is a multi-talented woman and a breastfeeding mom. She is a native of Baltimore, MD, but has traveled & experienced living the cultures of many cities and states. She's proud artist, she is an experienced creative & abstract painter, personal chef & baker, fashion designer, illustrator, poet, & so much more. Eclectic & considered a weirdo, she enjoys giving her time to her daughter, everything dealing with astrology and the zodiac. She is a Earth-conscious, motivational creature who is continuously being a proud example of strength & empowerment for other people in the universe. Follow Chef TJ on Instagram @cheftjdubs @callmepj911

Blossom salutes all of the strong solo parents doing it well, because it must be done. 
Shout out a single mom who is doing her thing! 

Where is the New Mom Euphoria?

Being a mother is discovering strengths you didn't know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed. - Sherene Simon

Motherhood evokes a myriad of emotions and expectations. One of the most common expectations is for the mother to experience an overwhelming sense of joy, elation, delight, and glee. The reality is, for a variety of reasons, many moms do not immediately experience these emotions. Find out how Blossom Mom Rashan Ali discovered and overcame this missing new mommy link: 

When I looked at my newborn, Bailey, for the first time, that euphoric feeling of overwhelming love did not exist.  There, I said it.  It is my truth.  I had no idea what to do with this little person whose eyes glared back at me in complete wonderment.  She stared at me like she knew I had no clue.  She probably knew because she had just come from being the closest to God that any human can ever be, until we transition later.

I was at the height of my radio career as the host of the A-Team Morning Show on HOT 107.9 in Atlanta, Georgia.  I was one of a handful of women who led a morning show.  It was literally unheard of.  We are typically the sidekicks.  After a very short maternity leave, I would have to nurse my newborn at 4:30 am every morning and hand her over to my husband as I walked away.  There was an underlying guilt that lingered.  One that I’ve just recently gotten over. That newborn just turned nine.

My morning radio career lasted long into her toddler years.  I wasn’t there to do her hair.  I wasn’t there to make her breakfast.  I wasn’t there to even clothe her.  What kind of mother was I?  I felt like a bad one.  One that let her career be number one in her world.  

Forgiving Yourself of Mommy Guilt

In 2009, we welcomed our second daughter, Carter.  Prior to her birth, I was out of work after my radio contract was not renewed.  I was home during the latter part of my pregnancy and then well into the first seven months of her life.  What a completely different experience.  For the first time in Bailey’s life, I was there in the morning.  I was there to cook her breakfast and make her lunch.  I was there to tell her to, “Do your best and be a leader.” (A statement we say each morning to our girls before they go to school.)  Our second daughter knew nothing about not having her mother there in the morning.  It was what she was used to.

There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman. - M. Russell Ballard

I made up for lost time with Bailey.  I realized I missed out on cultivating that relationship.  Those moments are precious and can never be revisited once they have passed.  During my second pregnancy, she and I grew closer.  So close that I had no idea how I could love another human being like I loved her.  But God knew.  And He did, as He always does.  

A mother's love is whole no matter how many times it's divided. 

When our second daughter was born, I found the euphoria.  I learned how to love through Bailey.  She showed me what the meaning of being a mother really felt like.  But it didn’t come easily for me.  I learned how to be a mother.  I’m still working on being a “good” mother.  

I don’t want women to feel like they have to be “picture perfect” as we take on the most important job of our lives: motherhood.  Every woman’s experience is different.  Every woman’s love and journey is different and should not be judged.  Recently, I posted a question on Facebook. I asked my mother followers, “What kind of mother are you?”  I used my own example: “I’m a can’t do hair, dancing machine, God-loving but will listen to Jeezy type mom.  I’m a silly, cooking and school volunteer but don’t do crafts type mom.”

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills, different abilities, and certainly different children.

I had over 100 responses from women describing what type of mother they are.  It was interesting to see how liberated these women seem to feel about who they are to their children.  It was almost like a sigh of relief that they can state who they are and be okay with it on a social media platform.  I pray they look in the mirror and smile back at the mother they are.  She is perfect just the way she is.

Stay at Home Moms vs Working Moms

Bailey and Carter are beautiful children inside and out.  My husband is an outstanding father.  They are both Daddy’s girls, but Bailey and Brian have a special bond.  All they had was each other in the beginning.  But God has a way of restoring things as though they were and I know that He granted me that in the mother that I have become for both of them.  I’ve grown into putting the “good” in front of mother when describing myself. My constant prayer is that I am being the mother that I need to be for my children.  Their smiles, self-awareness, happiness, kindness, loving spirits and love of God prove that I must be doing alright. That’s all the euphoria I need.

With a passion for sports and empowering young women, Rashan Ali continues to establish herself as a revered multimedia personality within the sports and entertainment industries. An Atlanta native and graduate of Florida A&M University, she has given her candid perspective on local radio for 12 years on HOT 107.9, V-103 and 94.5.  Recently, Rashan has made her full transition into television as a freelance sports anchor for Headline News and CNN; sideline reporter for CBS Sports Network, host of Under Armour Highlights of the Week on the NFHS Network and co-host of Falcons Rise Up Weekly on the CW Network.

Her passion lies deeply in the community.  She is the founder of  Sporty Girls, Inc., -a  non-profit organization which encourages the development of life skills in girls ages 8-18 through participation in non-traditional sports like golf, tennis, soccer and swimming. Ali has recently published and released her first children’s book, “Piper Sky’s Pink Popsicle Shoes.” Rashan is a proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.

She is married to Brian Smith and they have two daughters, Bailey and Carter. Check out RashanAli.com and Follow Rashan Ali on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! 

Can you relate to Rashan Ali's story? Did you have less than euphoric feelings about being a new mom? 

Do you want to share your pregnancy or new mom story? Share with us now! 

Running to Motherhood and Racing To Get My Post-Baby Body Back!

“At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover is yourself.”  -Alan Alda

Before I became pregnant, I had run 12 half marathons. On the day that my husband and I conceived my child, I had run a 5K (trust me, I'm sure). I ran another at 8 weeks, and continued to run 2or 3 miles until 16 weeks. At that point, it was taking 2 to 3 days to recover a short run. It wasn't worth it for me. I concentrated on yoga and water aerobics, forgoing my dreams of running 13.1 while pregnant. Check out the amazing Jocelyn Green, a Blossom Mom who did that and more! 

It was Sunday afternoon and I was in my bedroom unpacking my suitcase (I had just returned from a week long cruise with my family). I was sorting, putting away things, as well as, going through the list of things coming up the following week. At the top of the list was , running the Jacksonville Bank Marathon in Jacksonville, Fl. I was to run with my running accountability partner and friend, Wanda. As I continue to unpack, I come across a pack of up-opened tampons and my heart almost stops. I immediately check the calendar and realized I had missed my cycle. I calmed myself down and told myself not to worry, maybe my hormones were a little out of sync. Inthe previous weeks I had been working long hours as well as training for the marathon and so my body was probably a little off.

So I start my workday Monday as usual, trying not to worry. But by lunchtime, the worry had started to set in, so off to the store I went to get a pregnancy test. All the while I'm thinking, I'm suppose to run 26 miles in a few days!!! What if I am pregnant? Should I still run??? I can’t be pregnant, I'm just tired….a million things were going through my head! So I make it to the store, get the test, make it back to work, and decide to the test there in the restroom. The test came up positive IMMEDIATELY!!!! Lol I mean, there was no waiting three minutes! Anyway, I call my husband (fiancé at the time) and told him what I suspected, of course he was ecstatic. All I could think about was running 26.2 miles. So we decided that I would take another test when I got home and then call my doctor. I didn't wait…I had taken about five tests before he could get home and they were all positive…lol so the next day I made the call. I talked to my doctor, but unfortunately she wouldn't be able to see me until afteR the date of the marathon. But she gave me the okay to go ahead and run, since she knew that I was already a runner. She just told me to listen to my body and gave me a few things to be aware of….so began my journey of running while pregnant!

The morning of the race, I get up…of course nervous and prepare for my 1st marathon. Race begins and my partner Wanda has told me she would stay with me the whole race. She is one of few who knew I was pregnant. Race starts out great, I was able to run/walk the first 18 miles with no problems. But I did have a lot of time to meditate on how my life was about to change! Around mile 18 I started to feel some slight pressure in my pelvis so I decided to walk. To make a long story short, I completed the marathon injury free.

 Pre/Post Jacksonville Bank Marathon

Once I returned home the following week, I was able to see my doctor and was informed I was about 8 weeks pregnant!

As my pregnancy progressed I continued to run 6-7 days a week, an average of 3-6 miles each run. My running partner Wanda and my husband Demarcus were very supportive!!! Wanda was always with me on the runs making sure I was not over-doing it and being safe, while Demarcus was there for with emotional support…and food after each run!

I was able to run several “official” races throughout my pregnancy, along with the marathon. I ran the Disney Enchanted 10k, Jacksonville Gate River Run (15k), and the Publix Savannah 5k. Savannah was my last official run and I was a little over 5 months pregnant. I completed the race with a sub 35:00.

Official Races

By the beginning of my 6 month, I noticed several changes in my running. I was definitely slowing down, I was becoming short of breath, and I also started to experience increase sciatic nerve pain. But I didn't let this stop me from continuing my walk/run routine. I went on Amazon purchased a pelvic support band to aid with the pain and switched to more interval training, and increasing my walk to run ratio. I had to cut back on the official runs as well as it was heating up for the summer and I didn't want to get over-heated while running.

With some of my run pals!!!

By the end of my 8 months I had stopped running, but I continued to walk 4-5 days a week, an average of 3 miles. By week 38 I was definitely wobbling but was determined to stay as active as possible. I was also going to the doctor weekly and was anticipating my due date of August 23, in which I would be induced if I had yet to go into labor.

Aug 23…the big day! Just finishing my morning walk!

August 23 came, I got up and did a 3 mile walk in my neighborhood….it was to settle my nerves!!!! I went into the hospital at 6:00 pm and was induced, baby James Dean Henderson was born 23 ½ hrs later at 5:30 on August 24, 2015. What a wonderful feeling that was….I had become a new mommy!!!

Before I left the hospital, I followed up with my doctor on recommendations as to returning to exercise. Since I had a natural birth she stated I could return to walking at 2 weeks and return to running after my 6 week postpartum visit. While waiting for the two weeks to pass, I started some pelvic floor and light core exercises, as well as some upper body strengthening. At two weeks post-delivery, I begin walking 2-3 miles a day, 3-4 days a week until my 6th week. I was cleared by the doctor to begin running, so I begin to do slow walk/runs for 3-4 miles. I started with a 2:1 run/walk interval and am still in the process of getting my pre-pregnancy pace back.

I am currently a little over 3 months postpartum and I feel great!!! I try and jog with my little one as much as possible, but the weather is starting to get cold here (and he has been sick already). It has been a challenge getting adjusted to having and little one and not being able to just go on a run whenever I please, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Baby James and I were scheduled for our first run this month, but I had to cancel (due to illness again), but we have plenty of races to run.

Throughout this journey, my goal was to stay active and as healthy as possible. I won't say I didn't receive any criticism, especially in the African-American community. It is almost taboo for black women to exercise/workout while pregnant. I had a lot of people including family telling me I was putting the baby at risk for exercising, but that is not so. My words of encouragement/advice would be to listen to your body!!! I feel that continuing to exercise helped in many ways, too many to name. But I also recommend to definitely discuss your exercise plans with your doctor as well.

For myself, I'm looking forward to continuing an amazing running journey with my new running partner Baby James!!!!!

A Note From Blossom

High level training during pregnancy can be safe in a low risk pregnancy, if your body was accustomed to moving at that level before your pregnancy. Be sure to check with your care provider before beginning any fitness regimen, especially when pregnant. 

Jocelyn is a full-time working mom, working in the field of physical therapy. She is from Panama City, FL and is a proud graduate of Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University.  She is a Disney fanatic, avid runner, traveler, and foodie. In her share time she blogs about a little of everything under the sun, including running and the joys of motherhood. She currently resides in the middle Georgia area with her husband Demarcus, and new baby James Dean. 

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