Strength Begins With Number 1: Life Lessons From A Solo Mom

“I'm not telling you it's going to be easy - I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.” -Art Williams

Parenting is not easy. It requires a kind of strength, discipline, faith, and dedication that isn't easily understood until the little life is out of the womb and in the parents' arms. The job of parenting is so colossal that it's meant to be carried out by a pair. For a variety of reasons and through a variety of circumstances, that doesn't always happen. Many children are being loved and raised by solo moms and dads. Takisha "Chef TJ" Wise is one such mom. 

I'll never understand why someone could help make this beautiful, beautiful child but not want to work hard to be in her life or do anything for her. I stopped feeling sorry for people a long time ago because everyone makes their own decisions. I can only be thankful he helped me make this wonderful spirit but that's all. I get to experience & live this journey alone with my daughter and give her best life I possibly can. 

   

I've always respected myself enough to know when to move on with my life. Always been the one working hard & taking care of others. Always sharing my blessings with others. Now my main mission is to bless my daughter. I'm not the mother that's going to ask the other party to participate in being a parent for their child because it should just be a gift & privilege, not just a responsibility, to care for this beautiful child; for any child actually. 

10 Single Mom Secrets

I enjoy being a single parent, a single woman, and a single mother. Not that I enjoy the stereotype, because I hate it, but life happens for a reason. Someone asked me (sarcastically) "where's her Daddy at?" And the only true statement is "He's exactly 

where he wants to be." Not here. If a parent wants to be a part of their child's life, they would, with no excuses. I thank him for saying stupidly out of his mouth, that we are the "DEADBEAT MOTHERS FOR KEEPING HIS CHILDREN OUT OF HIS LIFE" , but HE chose to leave... Though if we didn't have the means to take care of our kids as mothers, they would be in the state childcare system cause he can't even take care of himself. So why not be thankful & appreciative that us WOMEN got our shit together despite your lack thereof? It just truthfully lets me know the mentality & maturity level it takes to be an adult & loyal parent.

I could and should still be home bonding with my child, and although I have my wonderful times with her, I have already been back to work after my pregnancy when she was 2 months. I worked a full-time hard labor factory job through my entire pregnancy, paying every bill in the house, providing him shelter, groceries, cooked & even putting gas in his car when needed. I did baking & vending events HUSTLING, for my "family unit", all while 8-9 months pregnant. I paid for majority of the baby shower, everything for her nursery, every hospital bill under my insurance coverage & taxes. And he still doesn't want a real job cause he doesn't want to "work for the man".  I couldn't even get a cooked meal after a long day of work or a back rub throughout my pregnancy. All the things that didn't work in our personal "love" relationship he blames on everyone but himself. Blame game all the time. Hello Kayne!! 

Yea I let him walk out the 1st time but I admitted MY wrongs & let him come back, then he moves out again when our daughter was 5 days old., NO I wasn't chasing him the 2nd time & even told him, "if you step, you're not coming back in MY house acting like its a hotel". I'm smarter than that & for many reasons, I know what I deserve and what Pandora deserves; and he wasn't willing to give any part of it.  It's sad and disgusting to see how unmotivated someone can be when there are two beautiful little girls' lives involved. A male chooses to not give an physical address when I'm just trying to get support for the child that you helped create. It's all cool in my book that he's never been consistent and always irresponsible.... he chose to move back to another state 10 hours away and doing nothing for his children.

I have always been the provider & there's been so many that didn't reciprocate back the same effort or energy. I have never a hard time accepting my role in life. Now there's only 2 that I have to give to, myself & my child. Around the clock, I dedicate every minute to me & to US, so I can be healthy for us. So I can see that beautiful happy little being wake up smiling every morning. We're always gonna be good with or without him. Sucks but, I'm not stopping our life progress for him. Not throwing shade and not looking for sympathy or "I hate that this happened to you this way.". I'M JUST STATING FACTS. Because if you knew me personally, you'd already know that no male is gonna stop me from doing what I want & need to do in life.

I have a constant praise story for my life, trials & struggles never made me fail or give up & honestly, single mother, single woman, single parent life is GREAT. This is the freedom I love because there was more stress trying to hold a damaged situationship together no matter how hard one tries. I wouldn't trade this for the world & I don't regret any decisions made & I don't wish I could change the past or fix anything. I'm just consistent in doing what I must. Giving love to my child & being the example she needs. As a woman, a queen, and a mother. She gives me all the extra strength I'll ever need to live this life & my heart is not skipping any unnecessary beats in our world. I'm just glad now that I didn't have a baby boy as much as I wanted a son, because I've already had enough headache trying to get her daddy to grow up. He honestly thinks his "morals" are going to provide for his children (long silent pause...). Dude! that's not going to put food on the table!!!

if I bind my spirit in being stressed over things I can't control, then that's less positive energy I could be sharing with my daughter

Hmph, I digress! I personally enjoy ever moment that motherhood has to offer my heart & my mind. Physically, it is freedom. My freedom- because I can't & won't speak for others- but when most people tried to throw warnings in the wind that being a parent is soooooo hard, I'm glad I tossed any of that anxiety out the window. No pity, not petty, just be proud that I haven't missed a beat in life & am doing what I do & haven't stopped. I am a mother, an entrepreneur, a working woman. I am always truthful, hardworking, and dedicated to everything I do. Easy. I have the best time of my days when I'm with my daughter & not only is she the most chill & relaxed baby, but she makes life easier. Yes sometimes it's tough on days when I have to find a sitter at the last minute. Having dependable people is scarce at times but, I don't stress about it. Life is what it is and if I bind my spirit in being stressed over things I can't control, then that's less positive energy I could be sharing with my daughter. Keep it moving. Can't be a Queen to a Fool. I was trying to see the King in someone who didn't see it in themselves; that was my mistake. No regrets though because it was a journey paid for, experienced, and lived. Lessons always have to be learned. I would rather be the courageous mother, doing all I can to provide for my child on my own. Single parenthood is a blessing & being a mother is about the most powerful gift & privilege I've ever been given. Our next chapter is near: Happily living.

Takisha Wise is a multi-talented woman and a breastfeeding mom. She is a native of Baltimore, MD, but has traveled & experienced living the cultures of many cities and states. She's proud artist, she is an experienced creative & abstract painter, personal chef & baker, fashion designer, illustrator, poet, & so much more. Eclectic & considered a weirdo, she enjoys giving her time to her daughter, everything dealing with astrology and the zodiac. She is a Earth-conscious, motivational creature who is continuously being a proud example of strength & empowerment for other people in the universe. Follow Chef TJ on Instagram @cheftjdubs @callmepj911

Blossom salutes all of the strong solo parents doing it well, because it must be done. 
Shout out a single mom who is doing her thing!