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Friday, October 21, 2016

You Are Not A Monster: A Message To Parents Who Have Survived Late-Term Abortions

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8




I want to sincerely apologize to my friends, family members, and clients who have had to make the gut-wrenching decision to have a life or death, late-term abortion, and now have to relive that pain, remain silent, or feel shame in public. I know that you were prayerful, thoughtful, and hopeful. You were dignified and you were brave. You still are. I know that you were in physical and emotional turmoil, and that you received at least 3 medical opinions before you were convinced that you and/ or you angel baby would not survive further pregnancy, birth, or life after, without constant pain. You made a nobel sacrifice, that was anything but selfish. For you, this is double jeopardy: enduring the loss, then surviving the stigma.


You wanted your baby. You loved your baby. You may have even named your baby, or decorated your baby's nursery. Some of you conceived your baby only after months or years of infertility and $ubsequent treatment$. You imagined play dates, birthday parties, and pre-K graduations for this baby. You still celebrate your forever baby, and include her when counting your children- even if only to yourself. This medically necessary, devastating, and life-changing procedure was never a part of your plan.



Less than 1% of all abortions occur at any point after 20 weeks.

You are not uncivilized. You are not a murderer. You are not a monster. You are among a minuscule group of mothers and fathers who have suffered a very real loss. You are still healing. I know that. I am so sorry that politicians, priests, and perfect strangers feel compelled to speak on your personal testimony and private pain.



October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month, when we light candles and say prayers for babies lost too soon to miscarriage, still birth, abortion, birth defects, prematurity, illness, accident, and at anytime, for any reason, especially within the first year. This life, once inside of you is worthy of being remembered and celebrated, everyday, but especially during this time.





Perhaps you can celebrate with older children or rainbow babies. Perhaps your rainbow baby has yet to appear. Maybe you've been advised never try to conceive again.Wherever you are in your journey, know that you are loved, you are loving, and you are lovely.